Top Ten Reasons to Date a Teacher

A while back everyone was crazy about this blog: Don’t Date a Girl Who Teaches

I admit it, it was cute and funny and totally true. Teachers are nuts and you should probably stay away from us. We get super involved in our work and can’t seem to think about anything else from time to time. Sure, that sounds okay to some, but sometimes it can be a little…unhealthy. Not that we can really tell if something is unhealthy anyways, we love our jobs. It’s just that simple.

Anyhow, while thinking about that blog and how great my job is, it dawned on me: teachers are awesome. Of course you should date one. And marry her, too. (Hint.) Here are some reasons why. In no particular order except that I wanted to do this Top Ten style, huzzah. (These are all ridiculous and for funsies, too, okay?)

10. Victory dances. I love to dance. In my classroom we celebrate small victories with dances. Get that math problem right? Dance it out. Answer that question correctly? Dance like nobody’s watching. Think about how awesome it would be to have someone celebrate you with victory dances all the time. (Totally awesome, I know.)

Sadly, all victory dances look like this.

9. I’m a good band-aid putter onner. You got a boo-boo? I’ll fix it! Unless you’re gushing blood or missing a limb, then I’ll most likely write a nurse pass for you.

8. Singing! Singing is even higher than dancing for me. Sometimes I sing responses to questions or even directions. Sometimes it’s really annoying, but most of the time it’s adorable.

 

It really could go either way...

7. You’ll never want for office supplies. Now, don’t take this like I steal them, okay? Mostly I come home with paperclips, pens, Expo markers, and highlighters in my pocket. I’d let you keep them! Other things I come home with in my pockets may include: erasers, toys, rubber bands, small children’s jewelry, coins, and hair clips.

6. Your grammar skills will increase. I’m a teacher, so that will most likely be because I watch over your shoulder as you text/email/converse/write and tell you to fix things so you don’t sound like an idiot. Wouldn't I be helpful?

Don't be this guy.

5. More free stuff! Who doesn’t love free stuff? As part of my job perks, I get a ton of candy on major holidays (and my birthday!), so I’d totally share that with you.

4. Mom’s love me. This is probably because they think I love children and would make an excellent mother to a brood of grandchildren. I mean, this is partly true. Maybe. I think.

This one just made me laugh.

3. Entertainment! Look, I don’t spend my days with children and not have something awesome to talk about. Not a day goes by when one of those little whippersnappers doesn’t do something utterly hilarious (also: ridiculous) that I must share with everyone I know. Kids are funny and they make my life more interesting. Hey, this could be our life. ;)

2. Cheap dates. Spending all day with children is exhausting. I’d probably fall asleep through dinner or a movie. Give me a nice glass of wine and I’m good, you know? (Please note: cheap is not equal to easy.)

1. I look adorable in a cardigan. Also, I have plenty of them.

Not an actual picture of my closet. My cardigans are clearly color coordinated. ROY G. BIV and all that...

So, there you have it. Ten reasons to date a teacher. Sure, they’re a little ridiculous, but so is life so get over it. Dating a teacher could be totally fun! We are great story tellers, always have a pen when you need one, and can communicate multiple feelings with just the raise of an eyebrow.

Tell your friends: teachers are cool. 

Letterman would probably agree. Maybe.

PS - Thanks to SS for helping and making me laugh. 

First Born Problems

When my sister was younger she just wanted to know everything. It was totally endearing, until she couldn’t let something go and bugged us for years with the same question even though no one could give her the “right” answer.

We didn’t have a conventional family, and that was okay with everyone. Sarah, my sister, knew early on that we had different dads. (That makes us half-sisters, but we don’t think of ourselves that way. We aren’t half-people, after all.) When she first learned to talk she called her dad “Tim” a few times, and it was pretty funny.

But the thing that she wanted to know the most about our family, what she really, really needed an answer to was:

Why was Ashley born first?

For a while this was the only question she would ask, and she would get so pissed when my mom didn’t give her the answer she wanted to hear. To me, it was hilarious (and frustrating because, seriously, get over it), but to her it really mattered.

So, kid, here are some reasons why I (and all other older siblings) was born first:

To soften up the folks. Look, you’re going to do a lot of stupid stuff. We, as older siblings, are here to make life a little bit easier on you. Trust me, when I would come home at 3AM it was like WWIII. Now, the ‘rents are over it. You swear in front of them? Nothing. Me? Soap in the mouth. Get a bad grade? You get a “keep trying”. Me? Look, life was hard once I got kicked out of Honor Society. Let’s not talk about the time I had to go to court, okay? Point is: I’ve done it, they’ve dealt with it. You’re in the clear.

Weird.

Torture you, obviously. There are ten years and nine months between my sister and me. That’s a lot of years, so I was basically a built-in babysitter. It was cool, though. I liked spending time with the little ankle-biter. Also, I liked to jump out from behind things and scare her.  It was a game I played. Mostly with myself, though. Of course, when she was crying that just meant I got to comfort her and make her feel better…then do it again. That’s what older siblings are for: to make you fear for your life and then make sure you are safe. Basically, I’d die for you, but in the meantime I’m going to make your life a living hell, okay?

I used to be taller than her!

You’re our slave. As I’m writing this right now my sister is washing my dishes. Enough said, right? But really, as older siblings we really need someone to wait on us. When she’s done, I hope she makes me some coffee.

To be best friends, duh. Being so many years apart was fun for the most part, but eventually our relationship changed. I moved out and moved away, but now that we’re both adults (kind of), it’s pretty cool. Siblings (and cousins) are like our first best friends, a built-in person to share your secrets, sadness, accomplishments, and stories with.

Besties 4Life.

L-O-V-E. Sibling love is special. Like, who else is going to put up with your shit and still like you all the time? We are weird and messed up and sometimes normal, but no one understands you like a brother or sister. (Sorry if you’re an only child. You can borrow my sister anytime.) No one knows what you’ve been through like them.

The family that serves together... 

I was born first, and so were millions of other siblings. We did it for you, you young whippersnappers, get over it.

Of course.

Even God is Single

I love the holidays.

Food, family, friends, gifts…did I mention food? Yeah, holidays are awesome.

You know what I don’t love about holidays?

The question. You know the one.

Are you seeing anyone?

You dating anyone?

Met anybody yet?

You’re going to be an Old Maid!

Tina gets it.

Okay, that last one wasn’t a question, but has actually been said to me by my Papa. He’s old, though, so I let it go.

Funnily enough, my family wasn’t too bad this Thanksgiving. Maybe they’ve finally given up on asking. Or maybe they’re just finally convinced I’ve turned into the crazy cat lady.

"Zazzy."

Truth is, I’m not the crazy cat lady. My cat doesn’t like anyone else (imagine that!), so I will never get to be that cat lady. It’s kind of sad when you think about it. Of course, that really just means that I’ll actually have to find a significant other one day.

One day.

I’m okay with that. Really. But in the meantime, I really really love being single. I love being single for a few reasons (which I will tell you about in due time, my precious), but they are probably not the reasons most people think, ie: partying, hanging out, doing stupid things.

Y’all, I get to do what I want all the time.

That’s not to say I don’t spend time with friends and family and work, but if I want to go to a movie, I do. Shopping? Do it. Sit on the couch all day and drink coffee and read a book? Done and done (multiple times). Take a trip to a third-world country? Did it. Twice.

But traveling and doing awesome things like not wearing make up or real pants are not the only perks that I favor, okay? (I’m currently sipping on a Woodchuck cider in an Avengers Tervis tumbler with a straw, I think a boyfriend would find that weird.) At this point in my life, I’m still learning about me. Yeah, I’m thirty and to some people that’s old, but statistics show that the majority of people are actually waiting until their thirties to get married. Science is letting us wait longer to have children (I’m adopting a child who is already potty trained). And, if you ask me, that’s a good thing. I remember being engaged many moons ago and thinking that the relationship I was in was so awesome and pretty and perfect, but it totally wasn’t. Sometimes I think back and just shake my head because I was in no way ready to get married at twenty-one. Now, I know plenty of people who did get married at that age and are in beautiful, thriving relationships. I’m totally happy for them. But I know that it’s not for me. Not yet.

I’m pretty content with working and focusing on being the best teacher I can be right now. Yes, I’m married to my job, but I’m okay with that because it’s the best job in the world. I like the cat and I like my family. I have some pretty cool friends and colleagues who keep me entertained and worry about my love life (or lack thereof).

I guess you could say I’m kind of...happy.

So, maybe I will be an Old Maid, but I might just be okay with that. I know that if I wait to find the right person then it will truly be right. I’m totally one of those people who believe that there’s some poor sap out there for me, but we just haven’t crossed paths yet. God help him, when we do though. 

Jess knows what's up. 

Or I can take a page from Will Grayson and say:

“I’m not asexual, I’m arelationshipal.” (Quote from Will Grayson, Will Grayson by John Green.)

I’m kidding, obviously, but that would be a fun response next time someone asks if they can set me up for online dating.

Yes, you look like this when you try to set me up. 

But really, dating isn’t something that’s on the top of my list right now. Right now I get to focus on me and becoming as awesome as I can be. Unless, that is, this guy comes a knockin’. Then all bets are off.

 

God bless (Captain) America.

PS – The title of this blog is actually the title of a cute little coffee table book I got for a dollar a few years ago: Even God is Single (so stop giving me a hard time) by Karen Salmansohn. 

Just Eat Pie

I was listening to the radio this morning, as a normally do on my drive to school, and they asked the question: “When will you do your holiday shopping?”

At first I just rolled my eyes because, hey, I pay good money for no commercials with my satellite radio, so shut up, you know? I'm a snob like that. 

When I got over that I listened to a couple of the answers and was slightly surprised by what I heard. The callers had three choices of answers:

a.)    Thanksgiving Day

b.)    Black Friday

c.)    Cyber Monday

Both of the answers I listened to said “Cyber Monday” because Thanksgiving Day is a day to be with your family.

Hear that, America? Be. With. Your. Family. (No matter how much you loathe them. Also, if you’re my family…I love you?)

Besides, Thanksgiving is a day for stuffing your face and taking naps! Is standing in line waiting to buy stuff you don't need better than that? No. Thanksgiving is, if I do say so myself, the BEST HOLIDAY EVER.

So why why why do you need to leave the comfort of some family members couch and go buy a giant screen television when you could be goofing off with some people you kind of like?

Because we’re crazy, that’s why. It’s some nutso need to believe we’re getting the best deal that makes us get up before the sun, stand in line with strangers, push, yell, and fight our way to that last pair of Jingle Jammies even though they’re an XXL but OMG WE NEED THEM.        

No, you don’t need them. Chill out and read some stats from Black Friday 2012 (source: the internet, just Google it):

Total amount of money spent: $59,100,000,000

Amount per person: $423

37% of American adults will go shopping on Friday. That’s 1 in 3 of us!

That’s a lot of money and a lot of people. It’s nuts to think that you need something that bad that you will wait in line for days (there are already tents pitched in front of Best Buy, guys) to buy something for the same price that it will be in a couple of weeks. This is true: I worked retail for a very long time.

I worked at Old Navy from June 2003 to March 2013. If my math is right, that’s nine Black Fridays. That’s eighty or so hours standing at a register, arguing about signs, apologizing for lack of product, and so on…this really happens and it’s horrible. Being in retail on Black Friday these days is terrifying because you don’t know what people will do to get what they want.

Truest story ever.

When I first started working retail Black Friday was fun and exciting! My first year I think the store opened at 7AM. SEVEN. That’s crazy, right? What time do stores open on Black Friday, now?

Oh, yeah…some of them don’t even close! Or they open at midnight. One of the local malls starts at 10PM on Thanksgiving Day!

That’s not even Friday!

Seriously, people…stay home. That’s all I can tell you.

It’s not worth it. You don’t need that waffle iron that bad. Those jeans will still be there the next day. Really? That television? Those gadgets? That game? Just say no, kids.

Eat some turkey, take a nap, bother your family.

That’s what Thanksgiving is all about.

Well, that and pie. 

I like pie. 

I Deserve My Summer Vacation

I was pretty mad yesterday. Like, angry mad, not crazy mad. Not a lot of things actually make me angry, you know. I can see some of you rolling your eyes, but it’s true. I just look like I’m angry. I can’t help it, it’s just my resting face.

Jeremy Renner has an A+ resting face. Also, he's adorable.

But anyways, here’s what happened:

A comment was made on a friend's Facebook status about having to work the day after Halloween and it went like this: “You get summers off and all that vacation time!”

Pardon me while I slap you via the internet.

First off, the complaint was not that she had to work, but that she had to work the day after Halloween.

Okay, do you have kids? Were they up late? Did you feed them candy for breakfast and then ship them off to school? (If that was you, I will find you.) But really, kids are crazy enough as it is…kids the day after Halloween? Goodbye everything you had planned.

So, here’s what makes me mad: YOU GET SUMMERS OFF AND ALL THAT VACATION TIME.

I get that a lot of people work 365, 24/7, blahblahblah, okay? I’m not knocking anyone else’s profession here, so don’t look at me that way. What really gets my goat is that people think that teachers just play around for ten months, get two off plus weekends and holidays and our lives are sunshine, rainbows, and unicorns.

In reality, I’m pretty sure there are more tears and wine than sunshine and rainbows, if you catch my drift.

Teaching is hard. Again, not knocking anyone else’s career choice. I admire almost every other job and know that people have it rough, okay? I need to get that out there so you all don't think I'm a jerk. I just don’t think that a lot of people actually know how hard teaching is.

Sure, I make lesson plans and get to do fun stuff and get a lot of hugs, but do you think it ends there?

I win "Last Teacher Standing" this week, okay? I mean, IT'S DARK.

There are meetings, meltdowns, grading, meetings, colleagues, parents, grading, and oh, did I mention meetings? Phone calls, paperwork, assemblies, clubs, tutoring, reteaching, reassessing, reevaluating, rebooting (coffee break!) and all within the twenty minutes you call your lunch break.

Then! Then I take stuff home. I mean, mostly my cat just lays on things when I take it home, but sometimes it gets graded, okay?

This is what my weekend looks like. Clearly I'm on top of things.

Honestly, though…the stuff I (re: teachers) take home is more mental than physical. It’s emotional. It’s the kids you can’t reach or the ones who don’t care. The kids who have a horrible home life and you’re the only bit of hope they have. The ones who eat their only meal at school and wear dirty clothes.

Teaching is hard. It’s not all fun and games. There are those things, but mostly it’s just about trying to succeed in world where people criticize you, question everything you do, and don’t think about what’s important: kids. They are what matter and if I put my heart and soul into them for ten months out of the year, I, and every other teacher, deserve a break every now and then.

So, yeah. I get summers off. I’m sorry you don’t.

But I’m not sorry, so there.

It’s not my fault you didn’t choose a career where you get summer vacations, now is it? 

Faithful, Faithful, Faithful

I’ve been in a funk lately.

It hasn’t been too horrible, but it’s been rough. Sometimes things get so hectic that I have trouble balancing all of them. I get upset when I figuratively (and literally) drop the ball on things, and then everything else just spirals downward from there.

This past week was especially tough, though I’m still not sure why. It wasn’t different than any other week from the outside. Of course, on the inside I was like a little raging hurricane.

Most days it feels like life is moving too fast: demanding job, family obligations, and personal life (ha!). And, like I said before, I drop the ball sometimes. Things get pushed to the wayside; they get forgotten, swept under the rug, and etc. Personally, I hate when that happens.

See, I don’t like to let people down...even myself.

However, I’ve found that when I worry about life, it only gets worse. The storm doesn’t let up, the waves are pushing you in all different direction, and you just feel like your drowning sometimes.

(My sister informed me that the top part was totally depressing. That’s life, kid.)

Here’s where it gets interesting: the past few weeks at church the sermons have focused on being faithful through the storms of life.

*INSERT FLASHING NEON SIGN HERE*

Yeah, I needed that a few weeks ago. A big sign that says: “ARE YOU LISTENING? THIS IS FOR YOU. (And some other folks, too.)”

Of course, when we’re running a million miles an hour (in the wrong direction), we aren't going to realize that the answer to our prayers is right in front of us, are we?

I know enough to understand that when I ask for something, it doesn’t always come to me the way I expect it to. God is always surprising me in ways that I sometimes can’t explain, but I also know that is part of His wonder. The way he shows up just when I think he’s not even listening.

Sometimes it's a quiet moment in my classroom, or at the grocery store, or even in a song or scripture.

What really stuck out to me today was this, from Jesus’ Sermon on the Mount:

“Therefore do not be anxious about tomorrow, for tomorrow will be anxious for itself. Sufficient for the day in its own trouble.” –Matthew 6:34

Basically what Jesus is saying, and which was taught wonderfully in worship today, is why are you worrying about tomorrow? It isn’t even here yet! Worry about today! Think about today and what you have to do with this day that’s been given to you. Tomorrow will be there tomorrow, so worry about it then, right?

I think that’s the hardest thing for people to do sometimes. We give ourselves so much to do that it’s all we can think about and everything else gets forgotten. We are but fragile humans who need certain things to survive and when we’re just goinggoinggoing all the time, we don’t get those things.

We don’t rest or love or laugh. Laughing is my favorite.

If I personally don’t do those things I walk around with my perpetual Nick Miller face and no one wants that, trust me.

Nick Miller, duh.

To me, it’s best if things are kept light. If I think positive about every situation and just know that it’s okay to be okay.

Worship leader Darlene Zscech says: “If your negative emotions get on top of you, pessimism and passivity sets in…often people become cynical when their negative emotions rule them. Eventually they start seeing the bad side in everything.”

So, laugh at your mistakes and take it a little bit at a time. Don’t worry and don’t rush, because it will still be there tomorrow.

But it’s so hard, right?

No.

It’s so easy.

Take a deep breath, say a prayer, and trust in God. When I do that I feel like myself again. Worry doesn't plague me, and even though it might be short-lived, I know that it will be okay in the long run. And that it’s totally worth it.

Runner, Runner

Seventy-five degrees, a nice breeze, blue skies. Here in southwest Florida that’s a perfect beach day, especially after a couple of weeks worth of rain. So, what was I doing at 6:45 this morning instead of prepping for some fun in the sun or a nice relaxing day?

I was slipping into my compression pants and lacing up my asics, because it’s race day, people.

When I first started this blog I talked about how I was training for a 5K and how much I hated running. Like, I hated it. I mean, a lot.

It’s been a long few months since I started the actually training, which really just consisted of running. I didn’t throw in any weights or core training because, let’s be real here, running is enough for me. (Remember that blog about no time? Yeah.)

I used the Couch to 5K app to train because it tells you when to run and how long to run. It’s a great app to help build endurance, which I did. It had been many, many years since I’d even though about running (junior year of high school, to be exact), so this was a big step for me. The app even posts your workouts to Facebook, which is how I got involved in the first place.

I don’t know which one of them started it, but before I knew it Lisa, Michelle, and I were signed up for our first 5K (Run or Dye, November 16^th) and in full training. Thanks to the posts on Facebook we were able to keep up with each other. You know, since it was summer and we’re teachers and yay, no school. That just means we weren’t able to see each other face to face to keep each other accountable.

Virtual training partners. It was awesome.

Me and my buddies Lisa and Michelle after our race. 

Well, we thought it was awesome; other people might have been incredibly annoyed. I don’t really care about them, though. It was like having my own little cheering section each time I put myself out there. I knew that I would post it after the workout and someone would be proud of me, someone would cheer me on, someone would motivate me. I also had my sister as a real-life training partner and someone to yell at me or for me to yell at. Which one of us needed the motivation depended on the day.

Motivation is key here, people.

It was so amazing to have your friends look out for you, even if they weren’t training, too. When school started and people started asking how it was going, I was even more motivated.

The truth is…I like running.

After my horrifying time with cross country, I never thought I’d say that.

Running is awesome. You can let your mind go, and it’s just you, your feet, and the road. If you get a good song (personally I love running to Mumford & Sons) and a good pace, that is the best feeling in the world. When I managed to run thirty minutes for the first time I almost cried. And, while three miles might not seem like that much to someone else, when you’ve worked your butt off for four months, that three miles is your Mt. Everest.

Today, I climbed my Everest. Today, I completed my first 5K.

That's me on top of the bridge. Cool, yeah? 

See, after I started the training a friend of mine noticed and mentioned the Pink Heals (Pinktoberfest) run/walk for cancer. Well, how can you pass that up?

So, my training buddies, virtual and real-life, (and a good friend) signed up.

And we rocked it, y’all.

We had a great time, ran for a good cause, and are already geared up for next time.

Personally, I can’t wait. 

My real-life running buddy and sister. 

Be Awesome: A How To Guide

I notice that by Friday everyone always starts to seem frazzled. Your hair’s a mess, there’s coffee on your shirt, you’re sure to have forgotten at least three important things on your to-do list and so on and so forth. Life's hard, I get it. 

Here’s what you need to do:

Stop.

Stop worrying, man.

Start being awesome instead.

1. Don’t sweat the small stuff. Why? How? What? Guess what, people. It’s all small stuff. It really is. And what happens when you sweat it? Nothing! You know why? Because you’re so busy freaking out about little things here and there that you miss the big picture. You’re the big picture. Life is the big picture and you are totally missing it. 

2. Take a break. That whole “stop and smell the roses” crap? Yeah, you should do it. Not in the literal sense, of course (unless you really like roses). But when you stop sweating the small stuff and can like, read a book or watch a movie (or have a nice frosty adult beverage, jeez), life is good. If you’re response is “I’m too busy to take a break!” then first let me roll my eyes and then I’ll mentally punch you.

NO ONE IS THAT IMPORTANT.

Not. Even. YOU.

3. Less of you. A little “me time” is always nice, but think about others. Trust me, it makes you feel good. Don’t think about them in a weird way, though. Or because you’re being a jerk and making fun of them (“OMG, did you see that outfit?” Whatever, stop talking about me.), but because maybe you like them or want to see how they’re doing or want to do something special for them. I don’t know, just be nice, damn.

4. Do something. Get a hobby. Learn to knit, draw, write, and other various activities that people do. I’ve taken up running since this summer (oh, and blogging if you couldn’t tell) but I love to do all kinds of things. Okay, I like to read and I like to sing, but those count as a lot of things for me. (I’m really busy, you know.) Find something cathartic to help ease the stress and you’ll be super happy or something. I’m still working out the kinks, okay?

5.  Shut up. This kind of goes with #3, but I really liked the idea of telling people to shut up, so it’s here. Just be quiet. Stop bitching and moaning and have a nice conversation about the weather. (Hello, anyone want to build an ark with me, sheesh.) Talking is liberating. Talking to a friend is better. Talking to yourself…seek help? 

Okay, I’ll step off my soapbox and go back to my fourth cup of coffee for today. But really, just be awesome, all right?

Also, if anyone sees me next week and I’m being un-awesome please feel free to slap me with the internet, got it?

And seriously, just listen to Kid President. He’s a smart little dude.

Happy Friday. 

Make Good Choices

Recently I was teaching a lesson on immigration to my second graders and one of my sweet little girls raised her hand and asked a very, uh, poignant question. I use that word because sometimes they say things that really get to me: like a little life lesson or reality check that comes just at the right time.

Teaching is pretty cool, y’all.

So, she raises her hand just after we’d finished talking about naturalization (the process of immigrants becoming citizens) and says:

“But, if people promise to follow the laws, why do they still do bad things?”

Why do they still do bad things?

It took me a moment to answer, because I was a little shocked at the question. It’s fairly early in the year and I’m still getting to know these sweet babies, and sometimes you just don’t expect something that deep from a seven-year-old.

And, trust me, that’s pretty deep for a kid.

In answering her I simply said:

“You know, sometimes people just don’t make good choices.”

It’s all I could manage at the moment, and she simply shrugged and replied with, “Well, that makes a lot of sense.”

Why does that have to make sense? Better yet, why does that have to make sense to a child?

When the shooting happened at Sandy Hook Elementary security around our school changed dramatically: locked doors, inside transitions, a security officer monitoring daily.

The hardest part was the kids, though. Telling them, talking to them, and answering their questions. There are some things that children shouldn’t have to know about or talk about. To me the number one thing is death. It’s hard enough being a kid without having to know that other kids die.

It’s sad that the only explanation we have when something like that happens is that someone made a bad choice.

Then again, aren’t we all just the choices we make?

If that’s true, then can’t we just use some common sense and like, not make a horrible, life-altering decision that will ultimately make everything suck?

I’m pretty sure the answer is “no”. We were given free will and the ability to choose and, as humans, we do our best to screw that up.

Every.

Single.

Day.

As an adult it is difficult to understand the choices that people make, so it threw me off that a child was so easy to accept that answer. I don’t understand how people choose to harm, kill, discourage, insult, and do various other horrible things to another human being.

How is it so easy?

What seriously goes through a person’s mind?

Am I just that naïve to think they life is just easier if you’re nice? (You’re all probably laughing right now because you know what a sarcastic jerk I am, but don’t I at least smile at you in the morning?)

I make a lot of jokes about hating people and pants and only being able to tolerate my cat and people in books, but it’s not really true.

Okay, it’s not that true.

What is true is that doing good things and making good choices does make it easier.

I say it to my students all the time, but sometimes I don’t realize just how great the meaning is.

“Make a good choice.”

Most of the time it’s about walking in line, or recess behavior, or when they go to specials and we’re having a tough day.

Make good choices about your behavior.

Make good choices about your life.

Make good choices about how you treat people.

Make good, do good, be good.

Simple, right?

How Times Flies...

Don’t you just love days when you have nothing to do?

Oh, you don’t have any of those days?

Yeah, me either.

I love my job. I’ve said that before, right? I love the people I work with, my school, my students…the whole shebang. It’s great.

Here’s what’s killing me. Are you ready?

If you don’t get that reference, we can’t be friends, okay?

But, in all honesty, THERE’S NEVER ANY TIME.

Okay, there’s time to work and eat and sleep…and that’s it. What fun is that?

When do I get to go to the beach or read a book or take a nap?

Those of you who aren’t teachers are totally rolling your eyes at me and shaking your heads. I can hear you muttering the word summer under your breath.

Guess what? I worked then, too.

Actually, I don’t feel sorry for myself. I’m just feeling…

Ugh. Look, if Zack Morris says it’s a feeling, it is.

Here's part of the thing: at our teacher in-service we focused on “The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People”. It’s actually really interesting when you get down to it. But…that’s hard.

How can I put things into quadrants and prioritize when I want to do all the things?

What are my priorities? How do I map out my week when things change everyday?

Basically: what is my life?

Sadly, I find myself asking that a lot. ;)

My problem isn’t that there isn’t enough time; it’s that I want to do too much!

I can’t imagine what it’s like having a family and trying to prioritize things. (Let’s be firm though, people, this is about me. I mean, there’s a cat and a teenager at my house and they’re both pretty self-sufficient…mostly.)

Again, my problem is that I want too much out of life. Is that so wrong? I want to work, worship, read, watch television, ride a bike, talk to a friend, and, oh yeah, SLEEP.

I love my job.

I guess it’s hard to prioritize when everything seems so important: a school function, a family reunion, church events. It’s not like I think I’m that important, but maybe the things I do are? I know my job is, that’s for sure. I want to "give it all I’ve got" and "be all that I can be" and all that jazz in that aspect, but at the end of the day it’s hard to give more.

That’s where frustration pokes its ugly little head in.

Sometimes I just want the world to stop, just for a little while. I want to take an hour to read a book without a million things on my mind, or watch a movie without feeling guilty that I blew something or someone off to do it. Then I feel guilty for thinking that!

It’s lose-lose and Dr. Covey teaches us to think win-win! (Ha!)  What’s win-win when all you’ve got is twenty-four hours? Where’s my little white rabbit telling me I’m late as I watch my calendar months fly off into the wind?

I’m not worried, I guess. Maybe the busyness makes me feel like I’m serving purpose. Like, if I’m just sitting around my butt then I’m not doing anyone any good and if I’m running my butt off, then maybe my pants will fit a little bit better…hehe.

I guess the point is, sometimes you feel like Jessie Spano on caffeine pills. And sometimes, you don’t need the pills.

A More Beautiful You

I’ve been thinking a lot about body image lately. Not just my own, but others, too. Okay, I’m not just sitting around thinking about your bodies: I’m more thinking along the lines of how others see themselves.

For instance:

How do you feel when you look in the mirror?

What do you think when you try on pants? What if they’re too tight?

Can you run that mile? Are you out of breath jogging to your car in the rain?

Sorry, this isn’t a post to make you feel bad about yourself, I promise!

Actually, my point is how people view themselves differently and what they do differently to fix the things they don’t like.

Oh, and why.

Here’s a question I get sometimes:

Why did you do Weight Watchers?

You know that kind of question where people raise their eyebrows and look you up and down which is supposed to be appraising you but it’s totally making you feel uncomfortable?

I get that sometimes.

Here’s why I did Weight Watchers (or WW, okay?):

I didn’t like myself.

Shocker, right? Sometimes I seem like I’ve got my shit together but in reality, underneath this sarcastic candy shell I’m a big ole’ cream puff with a lot of self esteem issues.

In case you haven’t noticed (if you know me, of course): I’M SHORT.

Yeah, I know guys.

 I. Know.

The tough thing about being short is that when you gain weight it doesn’t really have anywhere to go, so it’s more noticeable. So, for instance, if someone (me) gained THIRTY POUNDS over the course of a year or two, guess what?

People notice.

It only takes one question of: “When are you due?” to make you want to cry into a tub of ice cream and swear to never leave the house again until you fit into those jeans in the bottom of your drawer. (Still hasn’t happened.)

But I digress. This is supposed to be uplifting.

It was almost five years before I actually did something proactive about the weight that I’d gained. By “proactive” I mean “healthy”. I’d used diet pills and lost a good ten or so pounds but nothing more, and found it hard to keep off. It’s tough when you are using something like that and not really changing the way you eat or exercise.

So.

That’s how WW came into play.

I can honestly say it’s the best decision I’ve ever made. When you shed those first two pounds? Man, it feels good. Hit your five pound goal? WOW. Ten? Make your goal? Make lifetime?

It’s amazing. It’s amazing because you’re accountable and you’re healthy and people celebrate you! I was fortunate enough to do the program with friends at work, but when I ventured out to become a lifetime member I got to interact with new people.

The thing is: no one at WW cares that you only lost ____lbs. Even that guy who was almost at one hundred pounds lost thinks you’re awesome!

And you know what? When they feel good for you, you feel good for you.

Isn’t that what we want? To feel good? (Yes.)

I was having a conversation earlier about how those insecurities we feel from high school don’t always go away. I always felt chubby growing up, just because I was smaller. Maybe I wasn’t chubby, but it was always there in the back of my mind that I wasn’t perfect.

Those girls are skinny.

Those girls are tall.

Those girls are pretty.

It doesn’t go away.

Part of me thinks that’s okay, though. The fact that you have those insecurities make you want to better yourself. They make you want to eat healthier or workout more or train for a damn 5K even though running is the absolute bane of your existence.

What I’ve learned in the past two years since changing my lifestyle is that you don’t have to be perfect.

Now, what I mean by that is:  not to be perfect by other people’s standards.

I don’t really care what other people think, to be quite honest: I do this for me.

I’m the one who wants to fit into my pants.

I’m the one who needs to feel confident at the beach.

I’m the one that wants to run those miles and do it with a big smile on my face because I can.

Of course, I’m a firm believer that it’s what’s on the inside that counts. Really. All this talking about eating healthy and working out makes me sound like a total Mean Girl. And yeah, maybe I am one of those, but you know who gets the brunt of my Mean Girl attitude?

Me.

I do!

I am my biggest fan and my own worst enemy at the same time. It’s tough, too. It’s tough because people will tell you they are proud of you, or that you look great, or even that “you look like yourself again”, but does it matter? Does it really matter what they think? (Okay, a little.) But for the most part? No. It doesn’t matter what they think because in the back of your head you know you can always do better. You can always look better, feel better, and push yourself harder.

So, that’s scary. It’s scary because you’ll never be satisfied. Never be happy with yourself. You’ll always find a blemish or stretch mark or some cellulite, but that’s okay!

This is me telling myself that it’s okay, if you want to listen, too. J

It’s okay because, again, we aren’t meant to be perfect. We are imperfect creatures and it’s beautiful! Besides, what’s perfect for me might not be perfect for someone else. I’m okay with a little bit of fluff and a slightly perkier ass thanks to six weeks of 5K training. I’m okay with the “skinny-fat” my best friend and I have dubbed ourselves.

 Is there room for improvement? Sure.

Am I going to keep trying? Absolutely.

Do I try my damnedest every day to be a good person on the inside because that’s what should matter?

Well, that one’s always up for argument.

 

Also, here's a little song to make you feel good: 

Those Who Can't

I love quotes. Quotes and sayings that are inspiring and fun and OMG THIS IS TOTALLY ABOUT ME, you know? I love anonymous quotes, quotes from movies, books, celebrities, you name it. I LOVE THEM.

Here are some of my favorite quotes:

It does not do to dwell on dreams and forget to live. –Albus Dumbledore, Harry Potter

Love does not begin and end the way we think it does. Love is a battle. Love is a war. Love is growing up. –Anonymous

My thoughts are stars I cannot fathom into constellations. –Augustus Waters, The Fault in Our Stars

I’m not asexual. I’m arelationshipal. –Will Grayson, Will Grayson, Will Grayson

A true friend stabs you in the front. - Oscar Wilde.

I’d rather have thirty minutes of wonderful than an entire lifetime of nothing special. –Steel Magnolias

No one can make you feel inferior without your consent. –Eleanor Roosevelt

Thos are fun, right? Here’s another:

“Those who can, do. Those who can’t, teach.”

This one I don’t get. Those who can’t teach…what?

This saying has plagued me for quite some time. Okay, about ten years. You know, since I became one of those who can’t: a teacher.

Here’s why, are you ready?

Teaching is the best job in the world. If you don’t believe me then you are either:

a.)    Not a teacher.

b.)    Not a good teacher.

c.)    Stupid.

I'm sorry, that was mean. (That one’s from Dr. Bruce Banner, just saying.)

There are probably a million reasons why teaching is not the best job ever, but here are a few reasons why I think it is:

1. They think you’re pretty! And if they don’t, they’ll tell you! Children are the most honest creatures in the history of everything ever. Having a bad hair day? They’ll tell you. Forget your makeup? They’ll tell you. Skip a word? Read the directions wrong? Don’t worry: they’ll tell you. Teaching is great because kids are great. (I truly believe that.) Sure, you might drink a little extra on Friday night and cry every once in a while (or everyday, depending on your class), but it’s so worth it.

2. Why is it worth it? Say little Johnny has been reading a word wrong for the past fifteen minutes or so and no matter how much you correct/coach him he still says it wrong. But here’s the thing. Eventually, maybe after the seventy-fifth time he’s said it wrong, something clicks and suddenly that word is shall and not shawl and HOLY CRAP HE GETS IT. You did that! It feels good, doesn’t it?

3. You’re a superhero. Really. This world sucks, y’all. It’s full of crime and hatred and things that I can’t even comprehend on my best day. You fix that. For a few hours a day there’s a kid in your room who feels safer, more loved, and more important than they might anywhere else they go that day.

4. You make a difference. Sometimes we feel like we can do nothing right, like it’s time for a career change, or man, I just need a vacation. That’s okay. You know why? Because teaching is hard. It’s not something “those who can’t” do. Teaching is not for the faint-hearted, okay? You will deal with parents, children, administrators, colleagues, and random people on the street that will hate you. Why? Who knows, it’s cutthroat out there, you’ve got to be careful. Kidding…mostly.

I think teachers, good teachers, are highly underrated, and will be for a long time. But that doesn’t mean that we stop being awesome. (Yes, I feel like I’m a good teacher, what of it?) We don’t run when things get tough, we roll with the punches even if they hurt, and we love those kids because we can, not because we can’t.

So, that’s one quote/saying that will never make it to my list of favorites, because it isn’t true. We teach because we can. We teach because we love. We teach because we want to.

At least, I do. I hope you do, too.

Here’s one more, because I like you: 

Today you are you, that is truer than true. There is no one alive who is youer than you. –Dr. Suess

Fill in the Blank

Have you ever reached a point in your life and decided: “I’d like to do _________.”

What’s in the blank?

There is a ton, ton, of things that could fill in the blank for me. Here are a few:

1.)    Get a tattoo (Really.)

2.)    Buy a house. (Really)

3.)    Go back to school. (HAHAHAHAHAHA!)

4.)    Meet a nice dude who doesn’t mind if I’m a little weird. (See comment for #3.)

5.)    Run a 5K. (Seriously? Why, why, and why?)

Currently I have Dory’s song from Finding Nemo stuck in my head: “Just keep swimming, just keep swimming…” because that’s how I feel about running.

Y’all.

I hate it.

I hate it with the white hot burning passion of a thousand fiery suns. I mean, that’s a lot of hate. So, why am I putting myself through this torture? Why have I made this “list” of sorts? Something big happened to me last month.

Yeah, I turned 30.

T-H-I-R-T-Y.

Th-th-th-thirty as a close friend would say.

It’s okay, though. I’m handling thirty well, I think. I haven’t jumped off the deep end or decided to do anything crazy. I don’t think running a 5K is that crazy. I think running is torturous and barbaric, but I’m going to push through because I’m no quitter! Really, you can ask my cross country coach from high school: I finished every race (always last, always walking).

I realize now that I should have appreciated how easy it was to run at sixteen. Running at thirty is…different. Things hurt that I didn’t know could hurt. It takes a little longer to get warmed up and even longer to recover, which was something I should have been prepared for. I’m not as spry as I once was. (Was I ever?)

But that’s not the point. The point is I wanted to do something that would be fulfilling and mean a little something to me. It’s just a bonus that I get to do it along side (via Facebook) some wonderful ladies who are also training and motivating me. Basically, those silly little updates I post all the time? That’s my lifeline. I need the motivation. I thrive on it. It’s the only thing stopping me from waking up and watching seventeen hours of NCIS instead of running.

Don’t worry, I catch up on NCIS every other hour of the day. (What? It’s summer and I’m old.)

I guess the point is that I want to do a lot of things, so this blog will probably be completely bi-polar and cover a range of different things that I do.

I want to read books that are so good I never want to read another book ever again.

I want to be a better teacher and show each and every child that they are loved no matter what.

I want complete a 5K. (I think I can, I think I can…)

I want to be a better follower of Christ and shine His light wherever it’s needed.  

I want to be a better: sister, daughter, friend.

I want to fill in the blank.