This year has been going well and I know it's a huge mixture of things. I feel pretty confident about my classroom management and I really have a good group of kids. One thing that I'm really trying to focus on is not rewarding every little thing. I know, I can sense some of your teacher minds telling me I'm crazy, but I've found that it actually kind of works. I've mentioned before a fairly extensive classroom management training that I've done called Responsive Classroom and it's something that I truly believe in and (try to) use daily. I know that it's a learning process and I have to find what works for my class, but so far my students are doing pretty well. (I also did this last year and really enjoy it.)
The point of not giving rewards is that students should know the right way to behave. If we reward them every time they do something right, then they're going to grow up to be adults who demand recognition for every little thing. And we, as adults, know that that is just not how life works, am I right? So, I don't do a lot of individual behavior charts and things in my class, but I do special things like choosing a Mystery Leader and Mystery Line Walker. We do table points and are working on a system of rewards for good days with specialists (trust me, that is a whole other post...). But, for the most part, I have some good eggs in my class. I do have a few students that still ask for rewards or sometimes get greedy, but we're working on it.
One thing that made me smile last week was this:
Sometimes I do give rewards because I have some students who just need that love. And I'm not saying that it's something that stems from home, I just know that sometimes they need to know that i love them. Last week I gave one of my kids a choice of four little plastic dinosaurs because he had a really, really good week. He deserved it. Honestly. He really, really did. (Sometimes it's hard.) He chose what he wanted and I left the room to go to my dismissal duty. I was kind of iffy about it, but when I told him he could his smile was huge. Then, when I came back, I found that note on my desk.
Last year, even though it was tough, I still had a lot of awesome kids. Today was the last day for our student-led conferences (where the students tell their parents about their accomplishments) and my kids did really well. I couldn't help but think back to a situation that I had last year in preparation for all of these meetings, though. I shared with a few of my friends what happened when one of my high performing students came in with their parents and the parents were...not nice? It wasn't that they were unkind to me (although they did ask for hand sanitizer immediately after shaking my hand), but I was very disappointed in the way they treated their very intelligent, very hard working child. It was just little, nit-picky things, but it upset the student and it upset me. I don't often get emotional, but I remember calling my own mother, bursting into tears, and thanking her for not being an asshole when I was growing up. I was a fairly intelligent child (mediocre adult), but I never felt pressured to do more than simply my best. I know that my parents were disappointed if I didn't do well. (I personally thought the world would end when I got my first B in third grade.) I also knew that my parents would support me no matter what and would always want what was best for me. This kid had so much pressure on them and I hated to see them upset. It's so easy to try to focus on the negative, but it's so much better to point out the positive. That's something I'm striving for this year.
My conferences this year were amazing. The kids did well, the parents were proud. I almost got emotional just listening to parents telling their kids, my kids how proud they were of them. I love that. I love to see my kids lifted up by people who love them. Like I said above, sometimes it's so, so hard. But it's also so, so worth it.
Well, there's a bunch of rambly things that I hope you can make some sense of. I hope you're having a great year so far and that you and your kiddos are having fun. This job is hard, but it's good.
Here's a picture of a cookie I got after a conference. I'm a little spoiled.
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| It's like they know me or something. |
